A very personal post with some reflections on the year to put things in perspective…
This was the year I lost my mother, and in a few days, I will have my first birthday on this earth without her. Wisdom from an older aunt: “I never felt old until I had no one to call mama”…
This was also the year I said a final goodbye to a man I called home…and it was the year when my concept of home got shaken.
This year was just a continuation of a very long era of wars and hatred in this region; it was also a continuation of the descent into a time of intellectual and spiritual darkness.
My way of coping in these past years has been to prioritize happiness: no easy task because it means that one must become more selfish, unfeeling, and apathetic. One must stay shallow and abandon the dark depths where real life happens. I was successful most of the time, but I missed being who I was when I was younger: more passionate about my beliefs, more emotional, more vulnerable, and much less jaded. I believe that as we grow we must shed some of our older attributes, and even if we miss them, we must leave them behind: every station in life needs a different ticket to ride!
Through it all, and on the rare occasions when I let my guard down, I let some new and stimulating people into my life to shake things up a bit. I also developed a deeper fondness for the ones who have been here all along, the friends and family who create a circle of comfort. Still, I spent a lot of time alone questioning my roots, my wings, what I knew, and what I didn’t know.
No year passes without illuminated moments, and I had my share of those, and it is always those moments that I grab on to and highlight to the world outside.
Thank you 2015 for the lessons, for the friends, for the lovers, for the losses, for the wins, and for the changes. You will not be missed and you will not be forgotten…
ContraPolitica 