Category Archives: soul searching

An End of the Year Post

A very personal post with some reflections on the year to put things in perspective…

This was the year I lost my mother, and in a few days, I will have my first birthday on this earth without her.  Wisdom from an older aunt: “I never felt old until I had no one to call mama”…

This was also the year I said a final goodbye to a man I called home…and it was the year when my concept of home got shaken.

This year was just a continuation of a very long era of wars and hatred in this region; it was also a continuation of the descent into a time of intellectual and spiritual darkness.

My way of coping in these past years has been to prioritize happiness: no easy task because it means that one must become more selfish, unfeeling, and apathetic.  One must stay shallow and abandon the dark depths where real life happens. I was successful most of the time, but I missed being who I was when I was younger: more passionate about my beliefs, more emotional, more vulnerable, and much less jaded. I believe that as we grow we must shed some of our older attributes, and even if we miss them, we must leave them behind: every station in life needs a different ticket to ride!

Through it all, and on the rare occasions when I let my guard down, I let some new and stimulating people into my life to shake things up a bit.  I also developed a deeper fondness for the ones who have been here all along, the friends and family who create a circle of comfort.  Still, I spent a lot of time alone questioning my roots, my wings, what I knew, and what I didn’t know.

No year passes without illuminated moments, and I had my share of those, and it is always those moments that I grab on to and highlight to the world outside.

Thank you 2015 for the lessons, for the friends, for the lovers, for the losses, for the wins, and for the changes. You will not be missed and you will not be forgotten…

 

 

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Filed under Literature, soul searching

You’re Never Too Old to have Imaginary Friends!

Disclaimer (this is in no way a professional opinion-it is based on my own crazy musings- If anyone finds it necessary to call the guys in white coats on me after reading this, please read some of my other articles first!)

I didn’t have imaginary friends as a child, I actually started having them as an adult, after being hit with the realities of relationships of all kinds. I found that having a customized imaginary friend or two, was actually quite amusing and helpful!

Here are some of the obvious benefits of having an imaginary friend:

You always have someone you really like to share your craziest ideas with, and that someone will never look at you like you’ve lost your mind!

You always have excellent adventures that transcend the reality of your lifestyle.

Your imaginary friend is never too busy, and when they are away, it’s only because you need some alone time or time with real friends and lovers, and conveniently enough they have something of their own to do!

Your imaginary friend can also be your imaginary lover (I will not elaborate more on this particular point, use your imagination).

And now for the serious side:  How you chose to create your imaginary friend says a lot about what your truest self wants. It can be a great exercise in self-discovery and visualization.

If you could have the perfect partner, how would you visualize them to every last detail? What would be his or her strengths? Weaknesses? What would he or she look like or feel like? What would her or his quirks be? What would you admire most about him or her? What would you have to tolerate about him or her? Would his or her convictions be similar or different from yours? What would he or she look like physically? What are his or her most admirable virtues? How would he or she treat you? What nationality would he or she be? What language would you speak together? Where would you go together? What experiences would you share? What would the biggest obstacles be in your relationship (yes even if it’s an imaginary friend, he or she can’t be perfect)? How would you resolve them? There are many many other questions that can be explored in one’s imagination.  However, what is important, is to explore with purpose! The purpose being to explore your true self: what you really want, what you really need, what you really desire.

My imaginary friend/boyfriend of this past year (his name is Sven) did actually teach me a lot about what I value most in a relationship.  After making so many mistakes in judgement, it was great to explore what I really really desired in a friend or partner. Some of the choices I made in customizing my imaginary friend shocked me, they were not things that I would have ever admitted to myself. It was a way to realign my moral, ethical, and emotional compass without hurting anyone and without getting hurt.

I encourage you to try this.  Create yourself an imaginary friend and do some real self-exploration as you go places with that person you never thought you actually would…

 

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Filed under Poetry, soul searching